I dont know what has happened. I decided I would totally blow it out on my birthday and like a true addict....it hasnt stopped. I dont know what has happened!!!
I spent the weekend literally eating...no hoovering everything I could get my hands on and then some. I felt ill, especially since MEDICALLY i am not meant to eat this crap, but I ploughed on regardless! I ate things and whilst doing it watched myself do it and couldnt stop.
I have not exercised since Wednesday of last week! 7 Days!!! 7 Days with no physical movement. I told myself i would go last night, but went to Chocolate Fire instead! A chocolate restaurant owned and operated by an Aussie...so you know it is good...chocolate strawberries, chocolate EVERYTHING....chocolate PRINGLES........it was like I was in a trance just being led by my desire to eat chocolate!!!
I am teary, angry, impatient, grumpy, itchy, swollen, embarrassed and altogether not happy!! I dont know what to do........no correction.....I do know what to do.......I dont know how to do it at the moment. I feel like giving up! I feel like staying off the damn wagon.
I had some photos taken of me at the beach this weekend. You know how in your head you think you look one way.....and people say Geez sarah you have lost so much weight? Then you look at photos of yourself.....AT THE DAMN BEACH NO LESS....and realise that you are not as skinny as you thought you were and perhaps photos at the beach are not the best idea in the world???? Well that is also another reason why I feel so bloody horrible......I saw those photos and cried....why do i feel like I am getting nowhere? Why do I feel like I am fighting a losing battle???? All of my strength and willpower and motivation at the moment are somewhere between last week and never coming back!
I need to get back onto WW.....I need to get back into the workout regime....I need to reconnect with all my lovely WW email friends........I think I need help!!!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
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About Me
- Sarah
- I am a girl who is trying to find the goddess underneath all the layers....physically, emotionally and mentally!
Im not alone on this Journey.....
5 comments:
Sounds to me like you need to make yourself accountable and take ownership for your choices/actions. Let's face it we are the ones that allow us to do or not do things and when we do the wrong things (yes we know it's wrong) we need to accept responsibility for the decision that was made.
I too fell over on the weekend - eating like there was no tomorrow but after a weigh in and a gain of 1.5kgs I sat down and questioned how it happened and I could actually list every single thing that I chose to do over the past week (good and bad) that gave me that result. Trust me some of the things I did were NOT good at all - in fact pure evil.
I honestly believe that you do not want to give up.. do you? You haven't gone through everything to date for nothing, right?
So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put what has happened in the past and make yourself realise that you are not going to change the past... but you can mould the future by taking ownership of your actions and making the right decisions that will get you to where you want to be.
I too am just getting back onto the wagon - and I more than anyone knows how easy and quick it is to fall off... be patient and just take one day at a time.
Come visit me at www.thislittlepiggy.blogspot.com if you want to chat
Good luck with your journey...
littlepiggy
oops make that www.littlepiggysjourney.blogspot.com - geez don't even know my own blog address!!!
Definitely having a moment today!! LOL!!
Hello Sarah
I too overate on my birthday and for a few more days afterwards!
I got the deserved result at my next weigh-in! A very significant gain of 1.9 kilos!
But, you know what, it's the first time that I truly fell off the wagon since starting WW 9 months ago!
I took ownership of it and tossed the rest of my birthday goodies in the garbage and just started back on basics again!
All the time I had kept tracking - up to 20 points over one day, as well as walking and drinking water so just imagine what the damage COULD have been!
Now, I'm proud to say that once again I can pat myself on the back each evening when I go to bed knowing that I've done the best that I can do to enable me to continue this WW Journey.
Tomorrow is weigh-in so the result is still to come but I'm sure that last week's gain will just be a memory!
Just a little "hiccup" on the road to being the BEST me that I can be!
Now if this chocolate-lover can pick herself up, dust herself off and just DO IT AGAIN, then I have every confidence that you can too!
Keep on asking for support from the message boards as we all understand just how difficult it can be at times!
Whilst it's not easy to lose weight, it is so, so worth it to notice your new, slimmer shape, your shiny hair and bright eyes!
You are worth this! Just DO IT!
OK?
Gae xoxoxo
OK....(passing tissues) take one!!! I sure as hell need one. huggssss NOW....
Where do I start?? the luvlies that posted before me said it all. I just want you to know we are here for you, and we love you...despite your "missing" the wagon step this week. I know you can do this...I can feel that you can. And all those that post know it as well.
I don't think you remember the pain that made you start...if you think you feel bad now...remember how you felt at the beginning, think of the one real reason you started and focus on how good it's been to be relieved of some of that pain when you are succeeding.
You're a doll....let yourself see that..please?? hmm
Now...(more tissues)....ok..sorry stuff over *slap*
Now...track, water, move!!!!! go on...swear all ya like, you know it works..and so do I and sometimes we need a good swift pointer in the right direction.
Luv ya
C'mon...lets go..let's do this chicken!!!!!
Erin.x.x.x
Have emailed you back lovey! But just wanted to leave you big hugs in response to your blog post!
We're all here to dust each other off, console each other and then push each other up that hill and back on the wagon! C'mon mate ... you are so worth the effort and you so deserve the outcome... I need you to do this with me, we need you to do this with us! :D
We all believe you can do us... trust our faith if you can't believe in yourself at the moment!
xoxo
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