Whilst I sit at home and convalesce, I am beginning to have the strangest thoughts! But if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone! Cause if people knew I was thinking these things they may start to view me in a different light!!!
Im thinking that I am an amazing person. Im thinking I am pretty special and strong. Im thinking that finally I can conquer this weight thing!! How scary! I dont know how to be thin. I dont know how to NOT blame things on my weight! I dont know how to constantly tell myself that I am not worth it.......
How do you deal with these secretive good thoughts? How do you stand up and say you know what....I am me and I am amazing!? Well I guess what I want to know is how do you stand up and say all this without sounding like a converted up yourself wanker!?
I blame my singledome on my weight. I am in a pretty good place right now as far as accepting it....but what if my singledome doesnt change when my weight does? What do I blame then?
I blame my lack of fashion sense and always looking scraggly on my weight! What if when I have lost all of my weight I am still scraggly?!
These are the thoughts that swim in my head daily. And then I think about all I have just been through and how hard it was and if I was anyone else I would say to me....you are amazing! Im having these thoughts about myself!!!!!!
I can see that deep inside is a person who can own a room, who is funny and charming, I can see someone who can choose any man she wants to date and who is confident enough to say NO when a deadbeat comes along. I can see that the new Sarah is not ever going to settle!!!
How do I voice these thoughts out loud? How do I take them from thinks to reality? But remember.....its a secret that I am thinking this at all!! Dont tell anyone!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
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About Me
- Sarah
- I am a girl who is trying to find the goddess underneath all the layers....physically, emotionally and mentally!
Im not alone on this Journey.....
2 comments:
*YAY*
You have taken the first step to voicing those thoughts- by telling us :)
Now you need to tell yourself- and not just in your head but literally stand in front of the mirror and say it out loud.
Then each day you make a promise to yourself that you are going to accept compliments graciously. I know how easy it is to ignore compliments or to laugh them off- but make yourself at least say "thank you". Think yourself as worthy of compliments.
Small steps will get you a long way... and soon enough you will be telling deadbeats to drop off the face of the earth :)
Hope that makes sense.. and remember- you are amazing, you are worthy of feeling amazing about yourself and you do deserve to be happy.
Bella
HOORAY!!!!
Ditto to what Bella has said above.
One step at a time dear girl... one baby step at a time. Congratulations on taking the first few (*_*)
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